<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>feeling not good by Ekosamie</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/22985275">feeling not good</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ekosamie/pseuds/Ekosamie'>Ekosamie</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Original Work</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Rants</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-02</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-01 06:40:30</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>371</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/22985275</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ekosamie/pseuds/Ekosamie</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Ignore if you want just a rant</p>
            </div></td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>feeling not good</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>I don't want to write</p><p>I want to sleep</p><p>I get so depressed when I sleep in my jeans that i just repeat the cycle</p><p>I wake up with red marks around my waist because my belt is too tight</p><p>My skin indents as in molded into place</p><p>Molded into my depressive state</p><p>I thought I could be okay</p><p>But I can't</p><p>Not when there's no one to listen</p><p>Not when I can't talk to anyone who really understands</p><p>Im okay being the medium for others to advance</p><p>But Im not</p><p>The more people that go through me the more I shut down</p><p>The more I hide until I can let it out</p><p>At night</p><p>With something bad for me</p><p>Or a lack of something good</p><p>I just want to talk</p><p>I swear</p><p>I just want a kiss</p><p>Something vulnerable so I can open up</p><p>I need to open up</p><p>Because Im drowning in lies</p><p>Im failing in my short term life</p><p>And its frustrating</p><p>Not talking</p><p>Just consuming</p><p>Like everyone else in the world</p><p>And Im searching for someone that isn't but its so easy to do nothing</p><p>To let opportunities slip through my fingers while taking a bath</p><p>I just want to talk to her</p><p>To maybe feel the way I did before</p><p>But its not the same</p><p>I can feel it</p><p>I want to lay my head on her shoulder and cry</p><p>But its not the same if she were to push me away</p><p>I don't think is recover</p><p>I don't talk</p><p>I don't contribute</p><p>I feel so so much</p><p>And my outlet is lost physically and because of my insecurity</p><p>Nothing is sacred</p><p>My body isn't</p><p>So what's the point of being good for no one</p><p>Why not just sleep for an extra minute day week month year</p><p>Its how I feel</p><p>Its how I feel when I can't say</p><p>God, Im screaming into the Twitter void hoping someone catches me, calls out to me</p><p>But I also don't</p><p>I want to drown</p><p>I want to drown with a floaty on my arm</p><p>But it's too embarrassing to say I need it</p><p>I want it</p><p>I crave it</p><p>It drives me to the edge of the earth</p>
<p></p><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div><div>
  <p> </p>
</div>
  </div></div>
</body>
</html>